


You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals

by orphan_account



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: But then he's not as much of a bastard man, Dennis Reynolds is a Bastard Man, Grindr hook-ups, Hand Jobs, M/M, One use of the f-word i.e. the very bad one, Oral Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Verbal Humiliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:00:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26218285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Please note there is one use of a homophobic slur in this story.Dennis finds Grindr to be very convenient, except when he doesn't.Dennis pushes a closeted dad to breaking point.Mac is a sweet baby who has never done anything wrong in his life.This is set during and just after that incredibly bizarre pissing scene in season 14, in the episode which I assume is called the Gang Goes to the Zoo because that's what they do.Edited to add it's called The Gang Texts because of course it is.Title from the Bloodhound Gang.
Relationships: Mac McDonald/Dennis Reynolds, Mac McDonald/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 73





	You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals

Dennis likes Grindr, at times. He likes the way the app’s home page is laid out, a grid of profiles, each one a prospective fuck, a possible blowjob, a hand job waiting to happen. It's like shopping on Amazon, but instead of buying headphones or DVDs or socks or whatever the fuck it is that people buy from Amazon, he’s buying an orgasm, and it's totally free. Except for that one guy who robbed him, but Dennis doesn’t speak of that. As a matter of fact, he doesn't speak of any of it. Not because he's ashamed of his sexuality, you understand. Like anyone, he has needs and desires. In fact, of all his various and many needs and desires, his sometimes sticking his dick in a guy, or vice versa, is one of the more vanilla.

No, he's not embarrassed to fool around with another man. But hopping on some website, finding the nearest twink/bear/otter/other, and hooking up with them in a public bathroom _is_ embarrassing. There’s no art to it, other than perhaps knowing what a buttload of different acronyms stand for (seriously, gay men cannot talk normally. It's always “hnh” this, and “dl4rn" that). Dennis doesn’t even have a photo on his Grindr profile, that's how easy it is. Guys favor proximity over profile pictures every time. Ideally there’s both, but beggars can't be choosers.

The best location to have a no strings hook-up is anywhere that men are gonna be held “prisoner” for a few hours, so: the airport, the mall, conference centers, wedding receptions (weddings are such a den of probing questions and misery for gay guys they'll do anything to get away). But Dennis' favorites are the “day out" locations - places like the water park, or the zoo... even the Chuck E Cheese on Snyder is good in a pinch, ‘specially if there's a birthday party on. Because, yeah, closeted dads are the best hook-ups as far as Dennis is concerned, and those places are crawling with them. 

He likes that closet-cases are discreet, and filled with a self-hatred that Dennis can exploit. He's not overly worried about news of his illicit meetings getting out, although as previously noted, it is kind of cringey. Especially some of the hot messes he's been with. Makes him shudder to think; but a dick's a dick and a hole’s a hole, and shooting your load in a public toilet doesn’t vary very much, regardless if it's with Jason Momoa or Jason Alexander.

And he really likes getting off with some married guy that's got 2.5 kids and an SUV and a 401k, and then ‘running into’ the same dude again later, spouse in tow and brats running riot. Dennis has a special look he likes to give in those situations, a quirk of a smile and an eyebrow raised in the direction of his one-time liaison. He calls it the “Bone Chiller”, and he can tell it’s hit home when the color drains from his former conquest’s face and the guy pulls one of his kids closer defensively and suggests to the wife they should leave, right now, wherever they are and whatever they're doing, and she gets corralled out the door with a hand, pushing soft but insistent, at the small of her back, confusion across her face. Dennis usually gets a final glance from Mr. Family Man, a curious mix of anger, fear, shame, and lust. Yeah, they won't be talking to anyone about their fraternization any time soon, and knowing how much the other guy regrets it is _almost_ as good as the act itself.

Dennis likes how easy it is to manipulate these dudes. They're just looking for someone else Like Them, so Dennis having a son is solid gold. Brian Jr. can be a selling point with chicks too: single dad, paternal and caring; but women ask too many questions and it gets old fast: so much effort in pretending to give a shit. On Grindr, Dennis' profile name is an emoji of a man with a little boy, and then a face with a closed zip for a mouth. The message is clear: I'm a dad too, it's fine, your secret's safe with me, buddy. Of course, they need never know that Dennis' role as a father is tenuous, and that he's pretty sure the mother of his child already thinks he's gay as hell, given that he abandoned her and the kid to move back in with Mac in Philly. It’s all a moot point anyway, given that the guys never _ever_ ask any follow-up questions.

No, Grindr dads aren't so interested in chatting, and that's another reason Dennis likes them. They’re all business. No talk, no fuss, most of the time they don't even try to kiss him; they just get on with it, pushing him to his knees, or pressing a bottle of lube into his hand and bracing themselves against the bathroom stall partition.

Yeah Grindr has its benefits. The way he sees it, the DENNIS system is fool proof, without a doubt, but it takes a level of commitment way beyond what he’s willing to make, considering he can basically expend a fraction of the effort on Grindr and get the same result. It’s like the DENNIS system is Beethoven's 9th, while Grindr is _Baby Got Back_. You might enjoy both, but if you’re a refined, five-star man, you don't go around advertising your love of Sir Mixalot.

The thing he doesn't like about Grindr is the constant threat that each hook-up will turn out to be Mac. So far he’s doing well, and he's not arrived anywhere to find his roommate waiting to get banged or suck dick.

It's not that he doesn't think Mac’s attractive. That's not been too much of a concern for him anyway, just ask the John C Reilly lookalike he'd fucked last month in the baby changing room at the Doubletree by the airport. No, Mac was ok looking, even pretty hot since he committed to working out more than just his glamor muscles, not that Dennis would ever admit that to him. But you don't shit where you eat, and you don't fuck who you live with, especially when who you live with is already hopelessly pathetically in love with you. That would just open a whole can of slimy gross emotional worms, and Dennis is Not Here for Any of That. Might as well go back to sleeping with chicks if he's gonna get embroiled in all that feelings stuff.

It had been easier when Mac was still so far in the closet he'd been halfway to Narnia, honestly. Dennis had been able to scoot on over to Grindr free of any concern that the blank profile he was sexting at 3am on a Tuesday was his best friend. Sometimes he had wondered if it could be Mac, experimenting perhaps, but then remembered that Mac didn't agree with experiments of any kind, least of all sexual. He said it was “testing God’s greater knowledge” and that everyone should just let things be. Asking questions, he said, was the way the devil got in.

Now he’s out though... Jesus, the guy is a slut. Unlike Dennis, he’s got no shame whatsoever. Doesn’t give a shit who knows about his Grindr hook-ups. They'd gone for breakfast at IHOP a week or two ago and Mac had actually told their waiter that he needed “lots of protein” as he'd “been up all night slammin' ass” with a “hot body builder" he'd met on the apps. Their server had laughed nervously and looked like he wanted to climb under the table. Dennis could only offer an apologetic nod and consider climbing under the table himself, before ordering his fruit plate.

So yeah, Grindr is now much more of a minefield. Mac has a regular profile with a photo, but he confided in Dennis that he also has one for cruising: no picture, not much info, the basics only; so Dennis can never really be sure who he'll be greeted by when he goes to meet someone. He plays it safe as possible, never looking for people when he and Mac are in the same place for instance. But it’s hard. Sometimes literally.

Like now, at the zoo. He's been so ready to work out some frustration, have a nice relaxing day and watch a fellow apex predator tear some lesser being’s throat out, and he's fucking missed it. All because of Mac, the inconsiderate son of a bitch. He's missed out on the cries of terror and frantic noises of a creature fighting for its life, followed by an eerie quiet broken only by the lions' wet chewing and crunching of bones, blood smeared, still hot, on their muzzles.

God, he's getting hard again just thinking about it, and he curses Mac and his inability to read a goddamn text, and the zookeeper for not knowing that five minutes means twenty. He needs _some_ thing. No more feedings today, but maybe he can find some horny dad type to fuck with. Do some apex predatoring of his own.

He plucks his phone from his pocket, considering the likelihood that Mac will also be cruising today, and decides it's a risk he's willing to take. Mac's busy dicking around with Charlie and looking at the pussy animals like meerkats anyway.

He opens up Grindr. The first square is blank, showing only the gray outline of a figure that all the photo-less profiles default to, and what Dennis is really interested in: a small green dot in the bottom left hand corner. The profile name is more descriptive than usual, but not exactly poetry: “meet me 4 suck/fuck". Dennis smiles. It's almost too easy. He taps the profile and there it is: online now. 725 feet away. Definitely close enough to be in the park. The bio confirms it: “will b at penguin point bathrooms until 11:45am”. That's all it says. Dennis would be lying if he said the unpredictably wasn't a huge turn on in and of itself. He could be about to meet Richard Gere or Richard Spencer, it could be a tiny twink or some huge bear. It could be a serial killer. It could be Mac. He's not sure which would be worse.

Dennis makes his way over in no time at all. He's sliding his phone back into his pocket as he enters the bathroom to find Mac leaning against one of the sinks. Dennis screams internally, the only sign of his disappointment the tightening of his shoulders, and a small frown. 

Mac looks at him, confused. “Dennis? Y-You came to talk to me. Unless this is, like, a Grindr situation?” He sounds pathetically hopeful, and Dennis finds it repulsive.

“I came to piss,” Dennis lies, and makes his way to the urinal.

Mac doesn't get the hint, and hovers behind him. “Look, man, I know that you're mad at me, but when you said that thing about "C lions” Charlie was like.-"

“Oh, that's a lie!” Dennis snaps, before Mac continues trying to insult his intelligence with more bullshit. “That's just a lie, because Charlie can't read.”

Mac pauses before conceding. “All right, it was all my fault, but it was an honest mistake” he admits, his voice whiny.

“One thing, Mac,” Dennis says coldly. “I mean, I came here to see one goddamn thing, and you ruined it with your texting nonsense.”

“Yes, but I have some new information. There's going to be another live feeding.”

Dennis hesitates. “Go on.”

“Yeah, a goat is to be sacrificed, I heard an employee in here. He was talking about it,” Mac continues, a hint of pride in his voice that he'd managed to find such a scoop. “Now, I offered to blow him, but he was like, ‘nah, I’m-'"

Dennis isn't listening. “Goat?” he says, interest piqued, and he exhales, a soft shuddery breath. “That's some Jurassic Park shit.”

His brain flashes images of blood and teeth and flesh and bone, and his stomach flips.

“I like it,” he adds, with a tiny smile.

Dennis twists round suddenly, so he's face to face with Mac, seething, “But if you're gonna join me, you must follow my every command because, I swear to God, if you make me miss this one, too, I will feed you to the lions myself.”

Mac looks at him with huge, puppy dog eyes. He swallows nervously. “Okay.”

Dennis isn't quite sure what comes over him, but there's something about Mac and his sad doe-eyes that make him want to mark him up, dominate him, tear his throat out with his teeth. Before he knows it-

“Are you pissing on me?” Mac asks quietly, and he's not mad, or at least he doesn't sound it. He just sounds resigned to the fact he's being peed on. Dennis thinks it’s an odd reaction.

“Yeah,” he responds matter-of-factly, and Mac dips his head. At first, Dennis thinks he's trying to get a look at his dick, but then it seems more like Mac might actually be _submitting_ to him. Dennis isn't sure if he finds it inexplicably hot or horrendously despicable. Maybe a bit of both? Before he can decide, his train of thought is derailed by a quick tap on the open door to the restrooms, a knuckle rapping just below the sign which says ‘MEN'.

Mac turns his head toward the voice.

“You guys grinding?” The man at the door says, glancing at where Dennis is still pissing on Mac's shoes, turning the bottoms of his pants a dark blue-black.

“Er.” Mac doesn't move until Dennis finishes, and starts putting his dick away. Dennis still isn't sure how he feels about the whole situation.

“I was. Am.” Mac says, having moved to face the guy, who’s still standing in the doorway. Dennis looks him up and down carefully. He's tall, with graying hair, and crow’s feet crinkling at the corners of his pale blue eyes. He looks like he'd know how to change a tire, and owns a toolbox, and like he has a favourite Applebee’s. He's wearing khakis and a pair of box fresh New Balance sneakers. In other words, _he's a total dad._ Dennis spots a green family pass wristband looped around his wrist. _Bingo._

“I dunno about...?” Mac trails off, eyeing Dennis, that repellent desperation back.

“No" Dennis states, and goes to the sink. The guy at the door shrugs.

“Cool, well I haven't got long so can we get things moving? Got to be at the flamingos by 12:30. I’m meeting... people" the man says anxiously, and Dennis smirks to himself as he lathers his hands up. _People_ _like your wife and kids_ he thinks, and rinses the suds off.

“Sure, well I’m down for whatever" Mac responds, glancing back at Dennis. “Mac" he says, holding his hand out to the guy, who assesses it dubiously. Dennis rolls his eyes. Only Mac would shake hands with a guy before fucking him in a zoo bathroom. He's so bad at this.

“Jeff" the guy says, in a way which suggests to Dennis that his name is definitely not Jeff, and he takes Mac's proffered hand in a loose shake. “You got a piss-kink?” Jeff asks, looking at Mac's trousers.

Mac contemplates the suggestion. “I don't _think_ so...” he answers and Jeff looks relieved. Dennis punches the button on the dryer and dries his hands slowly, both other men looking at him and the source of the sudden interruption to their conversation.

“So... you wanna give me head?” Jeff says once the dryer has stopped, brows raised. “That mouth looks like it was made for sin,” he adds, and Dennis snorts at the cheesy line. Mac's mouth was made for talking shit, anyone who’d known him more than five seconds could see that.

But Mac doesn’t say anything, just nods and grabs Jeff by the hand he’d shaken, leading him past Dennis and into the first stall.

“You sure you don't wanna stay?” Jeff says, halfway into the cubicle. “You can watch, if you want.”

Dennis thinks. He is intrigued as to what Mac looks like with a cock in his mouth, plus he could use this as an opportunity to cement his earlier attempts at asserting dominance. It's not like he'd be directly involved, so it shouldn’t get messy, at least not emotionally.

“I dunno,” Dennis says. “I was planning on going to this goat-sacrifice thing, it really depends what time that’s at.”

“It’s at 2," comes Mac’s voice from behind Jeff.

“There you go, plenty of time,” Jeff says happily.

Dennis narrows his eyes. “Okay, I’ll stay. But there’s one stipulation.”

Jeff says “Sure,” and Dennis is pretty certain he hears Mac make a tiny groan.

“I get to tell you what to do, alright?”

“Fine with me, how about you Mac?” Jeff says, his hand on Mac’s shoulder.

Mac appears conflicted. Dennis tries to imagine what he’s thinking. “Okay" he says after a couple of minutes, and looks at Dennis with those big eyes again.

“Great!” Jeff exclaims, and rubs his hands together. _Such_ a dad. “I didn’t catch your name?”

“Brian” Dennis answers, staring unblinkingly at Mac. “My name's Brian.”

Jeff glances from Dennis to Mac, and back to Dennis again. Jeff can sense the tension, and Dennis thinks he’s finding it a little unnerving. “Great,” he says again, a little less sure this time. 

Dennis settles himself against the wall opposite the stall, and smiles. The more he thinks about it, the more he likes this arrangement. Mac has seen him fuck women hundreds of times, finally the tables have turned, and even better, this is a _live_ show. He cracks his knuckles. “Why don't you two boys get started, and I'll chime in when I'm ready?” He suggests.

Jeff pushes a hand against each of Mac's shoulders. Mac's back is against the stall partition, so both he and Jeff are side on to Dennis, stood outside the cubicle, the door wide open to give him the best view possible. “You okay?” Jeff whispers, looking down at Mac, and the way Mac returns his gaze: it’s almost tender. _Gross_ , Dennis thinks.

Mac nods and glances across at Dennis, still silent. Dennis wrinkles his nose. He doesn't think he's ever known Mac be quiet for this long.

Jeff finally leans down and presses his lips to Mac’s. Mac's eye's flick over to Dennis for a split second, before they flutter shut, and his fingers wrap round Jeff's waist.

They stay like that for a few moments, and Dennis begins to get bored, but then Jeff pulls back and moves a hand under Mac’s chin and tips his head up. Mac's lips part in response, and Jeff brushes his thumb softly across the bottom one. Mac's eyes open slowly and he and Jeff look at each other, both of them breathing heavily. For two guys who met moments ago, they seem totally at ease, and Dennis is dismayed to feel a stab of jealousy hit him in the chest. He frowns.

Jeff moves his thumb away, and kisses Mac, Dennis watching as a flash of pink tongue presses past Mac’s lips and into his open mouth. Mac’s got his eyes shut again and he makes a tiny humming noise, pulling Jeff closer.

Dennis tries his hardest to ignore the tightness across his heart and rolls his eyes. This is the soppiest bathroom blowjob he's ever witnessed.

“C'mon guys, this is not hot,” Dennis lies, as Jeff twists his fingers up through Mac’s hair, making his head ricochet off the metal wall behind him with a dull thud.

“Sorry," Jeff mutters against Mac’s mouth, but Mac appears unfazed, and slides his tongue along Jeff’s, while simultaneously grinding his hips forward. Jeff pulls away, and smiles when Mac moves towards him, chasing another kiss, looking up when he meets nothing but air. Mac smiles back, wide and honest, and Dennis thinks he looks like a moron, making goo-goo eyes at some guy who gave him a fake name and will come down his throat and never see him again.

“You are really fucking sexy, Mac,” Jeff is saying as he runs his palm down the front of Mac's t-shirt. “Shit, you are ripped!” he adds, wide-eyed and chuckling quietly. “You are definitely the hottest guy I have ever been with, Jesus Christ.”

Mac is grinning, eyes locked with Jeff's. He's not glanced over to Dennis once since they started making out like horny teenagers and Dennis should have known Mac would be this easy, and hates himself for not realising until it’s too late.

Jeff's hand makes its way down to the front of Mac's pants, causing him to groan low in the back of his throat. Jeff forces their hips together before they start kissing again, hungry and desperate this time, biting and licking, Jeff moving to suck at Mac's neck, and Dennis' brain flashes up the same images as before, but now it’s his teeth tearing at flesh and it’s Mac’s skin he’s gnawing at, and instead of blood there’s just saliva and sweat and body heat, and Dennis tastes bile in his throat.

Meanwhile, Jeff’s still palming Mac’s cock through the old, worn cotton of his pants, hand caught between the two of them, and Dennis is dizzy. That’s _his_ property, he just _marked_ it for fuck’s sake.

Dennis coughs. “Why don’t we see what that mouth can really do, huh?” he says, and Mac looks at him like he's never seen him before, confused and slightly disgusted. Jeff nods slowly, and checks his watch.

“I guess we should get down to it,” Jeff states, just as Mac says “But I like kissing,” in what Dennis considers to be his whiniest voice.

Dennis huffs. “Jesus, Mac, after all the times you've seen me bang chicks and you can’t even do this one thing for me, and suck Jeff’s dick while I watch?! You’re so goddamn selfish.”

Jeff looks at him through narrowed eyes.

“Den-" Mac starts to reply, before catching himself. “I mean, Brian. I’m sorry. I owe you, I do. Erm, Brian.”

Jeff furrows his brow. “Do you guys already know each other? Are you... is your name not Brian?” He pauses, and then shakes his head. “Know what? I don’t care. It doesn't matter.”

Jeff turns Mac’s face back towards him, with one finger pressed to his cheek. 

“We don’t have to do anything else,” Jeff says softly.

“We – we can stop making out. If you want,” Mac offers at the same time. He blinks, and smiles, coy. “I really want to get you off.”

“You're sure?”

Dennis tsks. Jeff is such a fucking cuck.

“Course he's sure, Jeff. Stop being a pussy,” Dennis sneers, in an attempt to regain the upper-hand. “Show him how much you want his lips round your cock. Push him down and make him swallow it.”

Jeff pauses and Dennis wonders if the guy’s gonna be able to fulfil his end of the bargain, but then he nods and puts his hands back on Mac's shoulders.

“Don't worry Jeff, I like it,” Mac says sweetly, and Dennis feels a pulse of desire that starts in his stomach and moves quickly to his dick.

“Yeah, he loves it, Jeff, you gotta be a little rough with him" Dennis points out. He's never actually seen Mac fuck anyone, but he’s picked up enough subtle hints from what he's said about hooking-up to work out what turns him on. Just little things about how much he likes a man shoving their fingers into his mouth, or that he particularly enjoys getting off with massive guys who make him feel small, or how he prefers being a submissive bottom and being held down and fucked till he can hardly walk. The last one was a revelation which came out when Mac was particularly drunk. When he’s sober, Mac still likes to tell anyone who’ll listen how even though he’s gay, he’s still tough and dominant and a big butch top. Basically he’s replaced one delusion with another and Dennis is happy enough to play along, for now.

“Well, okay then,” Jeff says, still sounding reticent.

“Come on Jeff, get him where you want him for God's sake" Dennis says impatiently, and Jeff presses at Mac's shoulders until he drops down to his knees onto the cold tile floor.

“Good. Bit pathetic, but we got there. Now, Mac, I want you to get Jeff's dick out, okay?”

“Okay." Mac looks up at Jeff and starts undoing his belt. Jeff runs a hand through the dark strands of his hair, and Mac nuzzles against it while still working at getting Jeff’s khakis undone. Dennis can't believe these two. They may as well fucking get married.

“Mac just loves cock” he says, hoping to break the spell between them. Mac smiles a little and licks his lips self-consciously, but Jeff doesn't seem put off at all. Instead he grips Mac's hair tighter, and makes an “mm" noise.

Mac eventually gets Jeff’s trousers undone, and pulls them down so they're around his thighs, his dick hanging heavy and pink over the top of his underwear.

Mac wraps one hand around Jeff's half-hard prick and begins moving back and forth along the shaft, sometimes running his thumb over the head on the upstroke. Dennis watches in silence, the only sound the rustle of Mac’s clothing as he moves, and Jeff's occasional moan, and the far-off noise of people outside, and Dennis' blood rushing through his veins, his heart pounding. Mac's pulling the same face that he does when Dennis asks him to look over the books at Paddy’s, or when Charlie tried to explain the plot of _Inception_ to him, brow furrowed and bottom lip between his teeth. He’s level with Jeff’s penis, and he keeps shifting on his knees, Dennis assumes because the floor is hard and cold and no doubt uncomfortable as fuck, but his efforts to get Jeff close to the edge don't waver once. Dennis has never seen Mac focus on one single thing for this long, and with that and the not talking thing, Dennis is beginning to think Mac becomes a whole different person when sex is on the table.

“Is that okay?” Mac asks, face upturned toward Jeff, and Jeff nods quickly.

“Oh God yeah, it's more than okay,” Jeff replies breathlessly. “Can't wait to get my cock in that mouth of yours, fuck.” He bucks his hips a couple times, apparently unconsciously, and the hand Dennis can see retightens in Mac's hair, but Mac just smiles and leans back on to his heels, his back almost against the wall again.

Mac continues stroking Jeff slowly, his other hand round the back of Jeff's thigh, and Dennis wants to see if he'll take the initiative to do anything more, or if he'll wait to be instructed.

“Harder,” Dennis says quietly after a little more time has passed, and Mac strengthens his grip and moves faster immediately, looking across at Den for some validation that what he's doing is ok. “That's good” Dennis adds, giving Mac the approval he craves, and Mac smiles widely and looks up at Jeff with something akin to pride.

“Jeff, tell Mac what a whore he is,” Dennis demands.

“Fuck,” Jeff chokes out, as Mac continues working his dick without slowing. “Fuck, Mac, you _are_ such a whore.” Mac's smile has vanished and his face is serious, but he carries on, still looking up at the man above him.

“Tell him he's not even a good whore.” Dennis watches Mac's reaction carefully. “Tell him he's a pathetic slut. That he’s good for nothing. And that you're going to fuck his face and use him to get you off, because he's nothing to you.”

Jeff glances over at Dennis, and he looks a little worried. Mac meanwhile is stoic, his expression unchanged. “Shit” Jeff says, hesitantly.

“Come on, Jeff,” Dennis chides, impatient. “You shouldn't have agreed to this if you can't take the pace.”

Jeff removes his hand from Mac's hair and places his palm against the wall of the toilet cubicle, as if he needs to create a degree of physical distance between him and the person kneeling before him, like he can't reconcile the tenderness of his touch with the words he's about to say.

“I'm gonna,” Jeff starts, and he’s fully erect now, Mac keeping his movements quick, hand curled around the cock that’s just inches from his face.

“Go on,” Dennis encourages.

“I'm gonna fuck your mouth, you fucking slut,” Jeff rushes out. “You’re going to choke on my dick like the pathetic little bitch you are. You make me fucking sick.” Mac's hand hesitates a little but his eyes remain fixed on Jeff's, his mouth open and breathing heavy.

“Excellent Jeff!” Dennis exclaims happily. “Now put your fingers in his mouth.”

Jeff complies, shoving his index and middle finger past Mac's teeth and onto his tongue.

“Now you get to demonstrate just how 'made for sin' you are, Mac” Dennis teases, as Mac's lips close around the digits and his eyes slip shut.

Mac shuffles slightly on his knees and moans, quiet and breathy as he sucks on Jeff's fingers and jerks off Jeff's prick. His stroke is a little sloppier now. Dennis can't see from the angle he's at, but he figures Mac must be hard by this point. He knows he is, and he shifts himself, uncomfortable in his jeans.

“How about you add another?” Dennis suggests, keen to see Mac's mouth stretched round Jeff's thick fingers.

Jeff suddenly seems a lot more aggressive than he had been just moments ago, forcing his ring finger next to the others with such vigor that Mac's head smacks against the wall again, his eyes pinging open and looking up to Jeff expectantly. There's no apology this time though, and Jeff uses his other hand to keep Mac's head in place, the glint of his wedding band shining in Mac's thick dark hair.

“You gonna suck my dick like that, huh?” Jeff pants, thrusting his fingers in to Mac's mouth, before dragging them back and then in again, and Mac nods in response. “You’re fucking pathetic, you know that? Giving up your mouth or your ass to anyone, you should be ashamed of yourself.”

Dennis is impressed. He didn't think Jeff had it in him, but here he is, demeaning Mac like a goddamn pro. No more of that soppy bullshit from before, that dopey starry-eyed bonding crap.

“Nice, Jeff, I'm liking it” Dennis comments, but Jeff barely seems to register the compliment. “Maybe you want to replace your fingers with something else now?”

Jeff just continues to stare down at Mac, Mac’s cheeks hollowing as he carries on sucking Jeff's fingers. His chin is wet with saliva, and his efforts to keep on jacking Jeff off have slowed to almost nothing as he concentrates on not choking.

“Jeff?” Dennis says, and he wonders if maybe they awakened something in this Average Joe-looking motherfucker. “Yo, Jeff” he says again, hoping he won't have to rescue Mac, and kick this guy's ass.

Jeff looks toward Dennis and seems to snap out of his weird trance. “Sure, yeah. You ok, Mac?” Jeff asks, but he doesn't remove his fingers, and it seems like he cares less than he did before.

“Uh huh,” Mac answers in the affirmative, and rearranges the front of his pants. _Definite hard on_ , Dennis thinks proudly.

“Mac likes it rough,” Dennis repeats, although he knows that as much as Mac appreciates an aggressive touch and harsh words, he loves being held and cared for and adored too, probably even more than the former. But Dennis can't give him that, no matter how much he might want to. He sometimes really wants to, but something inside him won't let him, and so he does things like this instead.

Dennis clears his throat and his mind, and carries on, alleviating some of the friction in his jeans with a smooth, sure palm.

“Time to go to work on that dick, Mac” he says lowly, as Jeff moves the hand that was in Mac's hair to his erection instead, and brushes it against the kneeling man's cheek, leaving a stripe of wet behind. Jeff removes his fingers from Mac’s mouth, a string of saliva hanging between them momentarily until it snaps, and Jeff replaces the digits with his cock, wiping his spit-covered hand on his khakis.

“Shut your mouth” Dennis instructs, and Mac looks over to him but does as he's told, and his lips close round the head of Jeff’s penis. “Use your tongue on it” Dennis says, his eyes on Mac’s the whole time, and Jeff moans and arches his back at the sensation.

“Now move your head.”

Mac complies, gazing at Dennis all the while as he moves back and forth slowly, his lips tight around Jeff.

“Take him in further” Dennis adds quietly, barely breathing, and Mac closes his eyes and pushes himself to the base of the cock in his mouth, sucking as he does. Jeff looks down at him with wide eyes, panting, both hands gripping the top of the toilet partition wall.

“You think you can take more?” Dennis asks, and Mac murmurs around Jeff, fingers resting lightly on the other man's thighs.

“I want you to put your hands in your back pockets, Mac. Don't use them unless I tell you to, okay?”

Mac slides his hands round to his ass and does as instructed, his elbows knocking into the wall when he moves his head back, his efforts doubled without his arms for support.

“What do you think Jeff?” Dennis says conversationally. “He sinful enough for you? Or do you really want to fuck that mouth?”

Jeff’s head drops down and he grunts quietly as Mac carries on giving him head.

“I wanna-“

“Yeah? What do you wanna,” Dennis mocks.

“I wanna fuck his whore throat,” Jeff finishes, gruffly, and he thrusts his hips as if to illustrate his point further.

“Go for it then, champ,” Dennis laughs, and Mac rises up further on his knees so he’s at a better angle.

Jeff pulls back until he’s almost free of Mac’s mouth, and takes his left hand to Mac’s hair again, pushing his head to the wall before thrusting slow and shallow into him, his cock brushing the inside of Mac’s cheek. His other hand stays where it is, gripping the top of the toilet partition, and he uses the extra leverage to fuck harder and deeper as Mac becomes more used to the intrusion in his throat.

Dennis is excited to note that Mac's arms are pinned behind him, completely powerless as Jeff continues, but then he hears him make a choking noise a couple times, and Dennis has a brief flash of concern that maybe Mac doesn't like it, until Jeff’s thrusts get shallow again and Mac meets Dennis' gaze, his eyes bright and shining, and he actually moans around Jeff’s dick. Dennis' breath hitches a little bit at that. He thinks maybe he was wrong, and finding Mac waiting for him at the other end of a Grindr hook-up might actually be pretty fucking awesome. This is turning out great, and no-one’s even touched him yet.

“Oh God,” Jeff says, and he lets go of Mac's head to squeeze the base of his dick.

“You getting close, Jeffy?” Dennis inquires, and he can't really blame the guy, if Mac sucking cock feels even half as good as it looks then he would have blown his load ten minutes ago.

“Yeah, shit,” Jeff replies breathlessly, and moves his hand up to the top of the cubicle divider so both arms are reaching above Mac and his fingers are hooked over the dull metal partition. He crowds in further towards Mac, feet either side of Mac’s knees, and starts thrusting again.

“Where you gonna cum?” Dennis asks, before deciding it's up to him where Jeff cums actually. “Cum on his face.”

“Yeah I'm gonna cum on this little slut's face,” Jeff growls, and Dennis thinks maybe they really have awakened something in him. It wouldn't be the first time Dennis has broken someone sexually, but it would be the first time Mac was directly involved, so that was nice.

“You like that? You’re so fucking dirty, oh my god,” Jeff is saying as Mac looks up at him with wide innocent eyes and a mouth full of dick.

Dennis feels like he doesn’t even need to tell them what to do anymore. They really have pleasantly surprised him in fact, and he smiles as Jeff mumbles a litany of unprompted filth.

“Oh God, I'm going to cum” Jeff moans suddenly as he pulls away from Mac and he grasps his dick in his left hand, pumping it with a tight fist while Mac looks over at Dennis, his cheeks pink and his mouth wide open, ready for Jeff to blow a load onto his waiting tongue.

“I'm gonna cum, Mac, you’re gonna make me cum you fucking fag,” Jeff groans, and Dennis frowns and Mac looks up at Jeff with red-hot anger as Jeff ejaculates, coating Mac's lips and cheek.

Jeff comes back down to earth to find Dennis taking him roughly by the arm and pulling him out of the stall, Mac looking on, surprised.

“Okay pal, you got what you came here for, you don't use that word round me or my friend,” Dennis is saying.

“Wha?” Jeff asks, surprised, his brain stuck in a post-orgasmic funk. “What did I do?”

“The f-word bro, we don’t say that shit round here” Dennis explains, moving past Jeff and into the cubicle, where Mac is still kneeling, dumbfounded.

“But-“ Jeff protests, his pants still round his thighs and his softening cock just visible under the hem of his tee.

“But nothing, Jeff. Fuck off back to your wife, creep,” Dennis finishes, slamming the cubicle door shut and locking it with him and Mac on one side and Jeff on the other.

“What the fuck? Fucking freaks,” Jeff says quietly, but then Mac and Dennis hear his footsteps exit the bathroom, and they’re alone again.

“Den, you didn’t need-“

Before Mac can finish his sentence, Dennis is grabbing him by the shoulders and lifting him to his feet.

Once they’re level with each other, Dennis gently wipes Jeff’s cum from Mac’s cheek with his thumb.

“What are you-“

“Shut up,” Den says, eyes on Mac's lips before he crushes his own against them. He pops the button on his jeans and sighs when he manages to free his aching dick from his boxers, before working on Mac's fly, their lips connected the whole time, Dennis’ tongue exploring his roommate's mouth.

Mac hisses when Dennis finally gets his ice-cold hands on him. His skin is hot, and Den is always ridiculously freezing, but it’s almost refreshing to feel those long delicate fingers wrap around his cock. He pants into Dennis’ mouth, their tongues pressing together gently, languid and sweet.

“This is a one-time thing, okay?” Dennis mumbles, stroking Mac slowly, grinding his hips into Mac’s, and resting their foreheads together.

“Yeah, but-“ Mac starts, and Dennis cuts him off.

“No buts, bro,” Dennis says, and jacks him a couple times, and Mac tries not to think about what any of this could mean and just go with it.

“You're so fucking hot, I swear to God,” Dennis says, and kisses him again, before taking his own cock in the same hand that's holding Mac’s. Mac melts at the friction, and he’s glad Den is still holding his shoulder and that he has the cubicle wall to lean on, because between having been knelt down for a good twenty minutes and the way Dennis is rubbing their dicks together, he thinks he might definitely collapse otherwise.

“Fucking Jeff. He doesn't know you,” Dennis is saying as his cool hand strokes loosely up and down their lengths.

Mac's brain is flicking from one ridiculous thought to another - _maybe Den does love me but then why did he piss on me and he's jerking me off but he also made that guy talk to me like shit but he kisses like he fucking means it, like he wants it, like he wants me... what if this is the beginning of something amazing?_

 _But he_ just said _it wasn't..._

_But what if it is?_

Then Dennis does something with his wrist that makes Mac's mind go blank and all he can do is thrust lazily up into Den's hand, the friction of their cocks making him smile dreamily over Dennis’ shoulder as the other man bites softly at his neck.

“You’re not a slut” Dennis mumbles, “you're mine”.

Mac's grin grows broader and he bites off a moan as Dennis licks at his throat, pinning him back where he'd been a moment ago with Jeff fucking his mouth.

Dennis laps at Mac's neck and thinks about the lions and how he'd just kind of fed Mac to a nasty, dangerous predator, but that he was here now and he could make it alright again. That part of him that wanted to bare his teeth and rip at flesh was still there, but there was something else there too. A desire to make Mac smile, for him to make those dopey puppy dog eyes like he had at Jeff when they were kissing and fooling around.

“Are you gonna cum for me?” Den says, still stroking lazy and slow, and Mac pulls him closer and murmurs a quiet yes into his ear.

“Good. You're good.” Dennis adds, knowing it's the thing Mac wants to hear more than anything else in the world, except maybe 'I love you’. But Dennis can't say that, so 'you're good’ will have to do.

He tightens his grip around both of them, and his breath catches in his lungs as Mac whispers “oh fuck”, like a sigh.

“Come on Mac, be good and cum for me”, Dennis says again, and he bites softly at Mac's ear before kissing him again, and Mac moans, 'oh God, Den, I'm cumming' into Dennis' open mouth as his whole body shudders against Dennis’ and he holds onto his roommate’s shoulders as he thrusts up into his fist; and Dennis loses it when he feels the stickiness of Mac’s cum spill over the top of his hand and the head of his dick, and he bites down hard on Mac’s bottom lip as he releases too, seconds later.

Mac rests his head in the crook of Dennis’ neck as his heart rate slows and his breathing returns to normal. He wishes it didn't have to, wishes they could stay there together forever in the zoo bathrooms by Penguin Point, their pulses racing, closer than they'd ever been before, but especially closer than recently, with that weird unspoken uneasiness between them. Perhaps this will have cleared the air? Made things better? Maybe the tension was sexual, and it’ll all be better now?

“Eurgh” Dennis says, stepping back and looking at the mess covering his hand and the front of Mac's shirt. It looks like Mac might also have some of Jeff's cum in his hair, that Dennis had failed to notice earlier. “Gross” he adds, and opens the stall door gingerly before turning on the faucet and washing his hands, not once making eye contact with Mac.

Mac exhales heavily and follows him, splashing cold water on his face at the next sink, and dabbing at the wet stain on his shirt before standing at the hand dryer, pulling the damp shirt away from his stomach and under the weak flow of lukewarm air. Dennis waits at the doorway, arms folded and eyebrows raised impatiently.

“You done?” he asks, and Mac shrugs.

“I guess. I'm not very good at like spot-cleaning stuff” he says morosely, prodding at the mark.

“But you are good at lots of other things. And you're good for me,” Dennis says. Mac smiles at him, and he smiles back. “Come on.” And he walks out, Mac following close behind.

**Author's Note:**

> So I hope you liked this, I haven't written anything for like 9 months which is enough time to have a baby but I didn't have a baby, except this fic. I did get a divorce though.
> 
> Maybe I will make some progress with my other fic now?! Who knows. Sorry I always write the same kinky shit.


End file.
